A Shortcut To Mushrooms

Uncle.

2008-10-22T10:02:00.000-07:00

Wow, it's been almost a year.

Anyway, this one was drawn months ago, but I couldn't be arsed to upload it (because I am very, very lazy...)

Let me know what you think. Should I bother drawing anymore? I have some new ideas for a comic, which I might open as a blog as well.

Christmas Special.

2007-12-23T06:09:00.000-08:00

This isn't as funny as it was in my head. *sigh* Still, it's all I could think of.

Proverb.

2007-11-03T16:42:00.000-07:00

This is why you should never ever stand up to bullies. Ever.

Sunglasses.

2007-11-03T16:05:00.000-07:00

Click on it to make it bigger. First in ages, as you may have noticed. Woohoo!

Jews.

2007-05-29T13:21:00.001-07:00

Yes, we are all bored of hearing about how naughty Hitler and every single fucking German citizen was.

Yes, the level of the flag changes sometimes.

Yes, it has a swastika on it.

Yes, I am aware that swastikas are naughty symbols for naughty people.

Yes, it's the third post in a day. Just pretend this is normal, and that I'm not making up for woeful neglect of this blog and its wonders.

Donna Tartt.

2007-05-29T13:17:00.000-07:00

Like most of the images on this blog, you'll have to click on it to really appreciate it. You might not get the joke anyway, so there we go. I thought it was funny, but then I drew it during the hours of 'Shouldn't you be in bed by now?' and 'Well, you're up early.' You also need to have an appreciation of Donna Tartt's ability to grab your brain by the tender spots and squeeze down profoundly and for ever.

Neil Gaiman

2007-05-29T13:13:00.000-07:00

I'm sorry - I'm sorry! It's been far too long, really it has. I've been trying to work on the new server, which is being an arseface as per fucking usual, so I doubt it will ever get done, so I might as well start posting up here again for now, as I haven't for months. Bad me. Anyway, enjoy.

The Poet.

2007-02-12T09:21:00.000-08:00

The second part of it. I am working on more mushroom things, but undercover. Secret. So let's be shushy-quiet, shall we, and creep about like micies? Yes. Squee, squee.

I have lots of ideas. Just you wait.

And the website...ugh.

The server is being a FREAK, and I need to sort it out. I really do.

Then we can sort it out.

Shit, shit. So busy. Give me a few more days, until half-term.

I'll be writing a long rant on my other blog soon about why I haven't been drawing or writing much lately, but not yet. Half-term should revive my creativity. For now, enjoy the rare 'art' coming out of me at the moment.

Artist.

2007-02-11T09:31:00.000-08:00

something Michelle and I were talking about. did it ages ago but only just decided to post it, dammit Michelle upload some stuff already.

Nasty Freaky Midget.

2007-01-17T12:38:00.001-08:00

After all the Christmas fun and japes, it is necessary that you should be reminded that only I am perfect in this world, and midgets are unwelcome.

Nasty Freaky Midget.

2007-01-17T12:38:00.000-08:00

After all the Christmas fun and japes, it is necessary that you should be reminded that only I am perfect in this world, and midgets are unwelcome.

Punk.

2007-01-17T12:33:00.000-08:00

That is, like, so against anarchy. Anarrrrchay for the Ukie-ay and all that stuff.

Christmas Whores.

2006-12-23T05:25:00.000-08:00

Turtle, Eggplant, and little Frederick.

Draco.

2006-12-20T09:00:00.000-08:00

Hello, Camilla.

As you said, it's fun to unwrap the package.

So have 'fun' with this picture.

SUSPEND YOUR DISBELIEF! This is Draco Malfoy!

A Note From Lime-Sama.

2006-12-03T03:53:00.000-08:00

Just so you know, on February 1st, if all is well, the transfer of these pictures will begin. And where are they being transferred to? Why, their very own WEB DOMAIN, bought and paid for. Yes, it has happened.
We now have a real website, and I shall be working on it until February, at which point the transfer of the pictures will begin. Until then, we will still be using this blog. And indeed, when we have completed the site, I shall link it back to this blog and we will use it to post notices, and such. (I may also link it back to the Changelings, Liv, if by your leave - should get you some more people on there.)

Oh, and thank you Blogspot. It has been a short stay, powered by spambots and technical glitches, but we've enjoyed your company and you accept html, which makes you pretty fucking good by my book.

- As you may be able to tell from the appalling quality of the picture, it took less than two minutes to draw, and the shading took no time at all, partly because there was none.

'Mushrooms' by Sylvia Plath

2006-11-27T10:23:00.000-08:00

Overnight, very
Whitely, discreetly,
Very quietly

Our toes, our noses
Take hold on the loam,
Acquire the air.

Nobody sees us,
Stops us, betrays us;
The small grains make room.

Soft fists insist on
Heaving the needles,
The leafy bedding,

Even the paving.
Our hammers, our rams,
Earless and eyeless,

Perfectly voiceless,
Widen the crannies,
Shoulder through holes. We

Diet on water,
On crumbs of shadow,
Bland-mannered, asking

Little or nothing.
So many of us!
So many of us!

We are shelves, we are
Tables, we are meek,
We are edible,

Nudgers and shovers
In spite of ourselves.
Our kind multiplies:

We shall by morning
Inherit the earth.
Our foot's in the door.

The Higest Branch in the AppleTree (my favourite place to be)

2006-11-24T15:44:00.000-08:00

this is were Fenn lives.

Uncaring Uncle #1 - "Juice."

2006-11-22T12:47:00.000-08:00

Ha ha ha.

This is another strip I have decided to do.

I hope it amuses.

A British Tea-Drinker.

2006-11-21T14:17:00.000-08:00

'Tea, though ridiculed by those who are naturally coarse in their nervous sensibilities...will always be the favoured beverage of the intellectual.'

Thomas DeQuincy.

(Yes, the thing over his eye is a monocle.)

Fenn

2006-11-21T13:56:00.000-08:00

this is Fenn in his apple tree, with Faux.
Faux: what do you think?
Fenn: im not sure.

You Don't Have To Love Me...

2006-11-21T12:45:00.000-08:00

Even political mushrooms have their off days, y'know.

Tarrigan's mushroom reminds me of my failure in life - I have still not managed to scan in Johnny/Epitome/Liv's comic. *sigh*

Such is life.

'Not Wearing Underwear'

2006-11-21T11:57:00.000-08:00

oh what an origional title!
my first contribution to this sight yey!

Racism Sign.

2006-11-21T11:40:00.000-08:00

Based on some stuff today.

Advertisement.

2006-11-18T18:49:00.000-08:00

This is an advertisement I am using to try and pull in support.

Geek Mushroom.

2006-11-18T18:31:00.000-08:00

Phone Conversation Two.

2006-11-18T18:28:00.000-08:00

This is the second, as may be evident.

Phone Conversation.

2006-11-18T18:27:00.000-08:00

This is the first in what I think might be a short series, but I thought that about The Employer, and I was wrong.

Chav.

2006-11-07T12:50:00.000-08:00

Chav: teenage delinquents.

Thanks to Mel for help with the joke.

I have trouble seeing this image. That's because I have my eyes shut.

Ah, that's better.

Nope, still not there.

If you're having a similar problem (and with Goth) click on the weirdy black box thing above this rambling.

Should come up with the picture.

If not...

Your loss.

Goth-Bashing.

2006-11-07T12:45:00.000-08:00

I couldn't mock goths too heartily as I know too many of them. Besides, they might CURSE me or BITE me with their FANGS of DOOM.

Bald Mushroom.

2006-11-04T18:05:00.000-08:00

Bless his politically incorrect little socks. The joke may backfire on him less next time, I feel guilty now.

Obscenely Politically Incorrect.

2006-10-31T02:32:00.000-08:00

I think I hit a few social taboos in the bollocks here. Ho ho.

For stupid people who missed them:

1. Intolerance of hygiene problems caused by poor home life.

2. Sizeism and superficiality regarding looks.

3. Homophobia.

4. Racism.

5. Ageism.

6. Disability prejudice.

7. Reallybadfringephobia.

This is not as funny or as well-drawn as I would like, but I have only slept for about six hours in the last three days, so forgive me, would you? And school tomorrow. Gah. Must sleep tonight.

Again, the size of this is...well, too small. Click on it, it'll get bigger.

Homeless Mushroom.

2006-10-29T07:49:00.000-08:00

I apologise for the size of comics recently, also for the fact that Blogger appeared to have a bug yesterday, so you got two of the same comic and none of the stuff I wanted to give you.

Are you getting bored of this theme of comic? Just a couple more, and then I'm done for a bit, honestly. We might have a few Turtle and Eggplant ones soon, though I warn you, there will be no cease to the flow of inventive costumes and drag jokes.

Pear-Shaped.

2006-10-28T05:27:00.000-07:00

A pointless little picture I found floating around my computer.

Well, not floating.

Just there.

Communism.

2006-10-28T04:06:00.000-07:00

The message of this, in case you are stupid and haven't noticed, is that Communism smells and should not be allowed to run rampant in society, especially places like Russia and China.

Communism is a blood-sport.

This of course is biased, and my opinion.

But learn, learn from the mushroom comics.

They will teach you many things.

And no, I don't believe fascism is great. It's just a joke. I'm trying to add humour to a morose little strip.

Artwise, I know this is not the best thing I have ever drawn.

In fact, it is one of the worst comics here.

I lost the will to live.

It was writing 'Communism.'

It stole my morale.

Sexism.

2006-10-28T04:03:00.000-07:00

I suppose you've guessed the message of this one. Sexism is BAD.

It really is.

(Male on female AND female on male. Don't think you're getting off lightly, FEMINISTS.)

I think the female mushroom is quite cute looking in this, don't you?

Mee hee hee.

A Mockery Of Disability.

2006-10-27T15:36:00.000-07:00

Mocking disability is bad and should not be done, especially by your employer, and especially when you have no arms and cannot teach him a lesson by smacking him hard in the gobbo.

Racism.

2006-10-27T12:41:00.000-07:00

The message of this is that racism is bad.

You might think the message is that afro hairstyles look silly.

But you would be mistaken.

See how bold and red the word 'bad' is?

That's how bad it is.

Seriously, don't be a racist prick. Racism is only funny in cartoons.

A Wiccan Mockery.

2006-10-27T12:06:00.000-07:00

I think all religions do well for a bit of mocking and taunting occasionally.

It keeps them on their little toesie-woesies.

Go off and cry to Eggnog Of Popsicle, I'm too tired to tell you your religion smells.

Which is probably does.

That is my opinion. You cannot argue with it.

I'm right.

I just know.

It's a metaphor.

OH FUCK OFF.

This is a joke.

Why Do They Call Being Gay 'Gay?'

2006-10-27T11:30:00.000-07:00

Aww, bless his little skin-tight shorts.

Seriously though, homophobia is very bad. Don't do it. Only I am allowed to be such an arsehole, ok?

Oh, and Mel, you can be an arsehole too. *winks*

The Baby-Face Of Hardcore.

2006-10-23T15:57:00.000-07:00

Lauri, let us salute you as the only man in rock able to get away with looking like a gothic bearded baby in drag, and still being cute.

'As long as I haff feazers een my hair, I should be alright, yes?'

Yes, Lauri Mushroom. Yes.

Emo. 'It's Not A Phase, It's A Lifestyle Choice.' ...Ahem.

2006-10-22T14:35:00.000-07:00

This is what we in the business call an 'emo' mushroom. Their hobbies include irritating whiny music, wearing too many stripes, looking exactly the same as each other no matter their gender, trying to be mysterious, writing shitty poetry, falling in 'luff' with everyone they meet, filling Myspace journals with pseudo-suicidal rants, and denying the fact that they are emo.

Sex Pistols.

2006-10-22T09:48:00.000-07:00

This is my punk mushroom effort.

The Wizard Who Denies Himself.

2006-10-14T13:36:00.000-07:00

A mushroom image of one of my characters.

New style.

It's meant to look like it was drawn in black ink.

I will not be using this style very often, it is not easy to acheive on Paint.

And Sometimes We Cannot Cope.

2006-10-12T11:04:00.000-07:00

Sometimes Sad Things Happen.

2006-10-12T10:51:00.000-07:00

Vonfunghalslovk's Speech.

2006-10-12T09:19:00.000-07:00

Poor little yellow dude. One day, he will rule the Field with an iron spore. Maybe. If everyone else dies and he is the last one left, and even then I think he'd probably find the job too stressful.

Butternut's Soliloquy.

2006-10-12T04:40:00.000-07:00

This is from the point of view of Turtle's exgirlfriend. Hmm, you probably guessed that.

Turtle's Soliloquy. (Or Lack Thereof.)

2006-10-11T13:21:00.000-07:00

Eggplant's Soliloquy.

2006-10-11T12:35:00.000-07:00

Mussrvoom Vonfunghalslovk's Childhood.

2006-10-11T11:50:00.000-07:00

"I alvays knew zass my leedle Mussy vould go furrzarr zann all ze plebs een hees classes at schvoolen."

This Has Been Scientifically Proven.

2006-10-07T07:53:00.000-07:00

This is actually what happens when feuding funghi leap on each other, I swear.

Not the best I've ever drawn, I must say, but it's better than the first draft of it (drawn scrappily in biro on my French excercise book.)

More comics tomorrow, maybe, if I have time. Or even today, if I am lazy.

You Have To Hand It To Them. (If You Didn't, They'd Steal It Anyway.)

2006-10-07T06:45:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, Eggplant and Turtle wondered why people didn't like them.

"Maybe it's what we look like," suggested Turtle.

"Maybe it's what we say," added Eggplant.

"It's probably because they're jealous of us."

It was agreed. That was probably almost definitely the reason why.

By request of Johnny - a comic of Turtle and Eggplant, everyone's favourite socially inept funghal drag act.

Aubergine.

2006-10-07T06:11:00.000-07:00

Is this aubergine not the image of Liam Gallagher? Alright, perhaps not. But it made me laugh. The two mushrooms are based heavily on two of my best friends, Mel and Jess, who are not fangirly...well, not very. Shall I be honest? They are utter fangirls. But you have to love them. And just for you...

STRAWBERRY MAO MAO!

(If that's even how you spell it. I feel demeaned.)

A Social Disaster For A Sophisticated Pair.

2006-10-06T08:25:00.000-07:00

I think everyone's turned up to a party wearing something totally inappropriate, and it's mortifying, even if you do have your best friend with you. Inspired by their favourite films, they decided to be creative. It didn't work out. Here we have Turtle, modelling the Golgothan Shit-Demon look from Dogma, and Eggplant, with a rather lacklustre Ent impression.

Mushroom And Benevolent Egg.

2006-10-06T08:00:00.000-07:00

Sorry it's been so long. Hell, no-one ever comes here anyway, so I guess it doesn't matter much, but I like to pretend I have a large fanbase who come here all the time, and it's vital that I keep drawing them. Johnny sent me an amazing booklet about Billy, the first ever mushroom, so I shall see about getting it up here somehow, the art in it is really quite something, and the story is funny too.

The panel design in this particular cartoon is called 'Michelle Couldn't Be Bothered To Straighten Them Out.'

Not All Birds Can Fly.

2006-09-10T08:22:00.000-07:00

But Sparrow can and always will. I know this.

Mana-Sama.

2006-09-09T04:03:00.000-07:00

A funghal tribute to the intensely beautiful and talented J-rocker, Mana-sama. I may draw him as he looked in Malice Mizer at some point, but this is Mana in his Moi Dix Mois garb.

Well, this is Mana with his Moi Dix Mois hair, anyway. I couldn't be bothered to find any of his dresses and draw them so I just drew one a bit like one he had at the concert in Merveilles (which I did not attend. )

Sweet Mushies.

2006-09-07T12:09:00.000-07:00

Don't you think they look weirdly comfortable in drag? They're dressed as sweet transvestites, yes, yes.

What a pair of funghal fetishists. Hmph. People are going to think they are GAY at this rate.

For Her.

2006-09-06T12:52:00.000-07:00

Farty.

2006-09-06T12:45:00.001-07:00

Says it all.

Hippie.

2006-09-06T12:40:00.000-07:00

I promised mushrooms. I'm sorry. A thing happened. And then school started. And stuff. This is poorly shaded. But...but...I couldn't be bothered. Sorry.

The Day Turtle Got An Ariel Fetish.

2006-08-25T09:50:00.000-07:00

...was the same day Eggplant slipped, nearly broke his stalk and sent dearest Turtle flying into a patch of enraged carrots. But Eggy rescued him and bore him flapping off home to the Field.

Look, it's been a long and lonely day.

Magic Mushroom.

2006-08-25T09:38:00.000-07:00

I make no excuses, I make no apologies.

Happy Birthday Jess!

2006-08-25T03:48:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to the wonderful and adorable Jess, smallest in stature but by no means smallest in spirit within the Endless. May you have many happy birthdays to come, my darling!

Incidentally, tomorrow is the blog's one month anniversaire, so there may be mushroomy treats in store for the blog, as always. But better, this time. Maybe. Hehehe.

Enjoy the 'shroom, Jessy.

Masquerade Mushroom Style.

2006-08-25T03:00:00.000-07:00

Hardly a fitting tribute to Andrew Lloyd Webber's genius, but neither was Aubergine. Enjoy. By the by, the bunny and angel mushrooms are called Eggplant and Turtle.

Cat Mushroom.

2006-08-24T11:20:00.000-07:00

Siamese kitty in mushroom form, as you can see. Took a little while longer than usual. Is it worth it? I think not. But happy 20th post, people. Enjoy the mushroom.

The Secret Historians.

2006-08-24T09:41:00.000-07:00

I know, I know, it's been an age. I have a load of half-finished mushrooms, can't bring myself to finish them. But this one took about half an hour and I think it is time well-spent. Enjoy. Oh, and have fun working out who is who (I hope it's obvious) and why they are the colour and shape and position they are. Oh, and there's a reason for the background being the way it is too. I like things with reasons.

A Shortcut To Hobbits.

2006-08-03T13:18:00.000-07:00

Just as Tolkien intended.

I got a wee bit lazy with this one, and so the shading is not good, and the tumbling hobbits leave much to be desired. I like the mushroom holding the pot of hobbit goo though, and the mini mushies with axes. I don't like the table scene much, but what can you do? Work harder. Oh shut up. You shut up. Don't want to. Fine. Ha. Another victory.

I'm sorry that the text is not very clear.

Feeding Rights Of Toadstools

2006-07-30T07:56:00.001-07:00

D: The evil toadstools have landed. Pity the poor, sporified grey mushroom.

My First Go

2006-07-29T14:55:00.000-07:00

Harry conjures the Dark Mark. Hagrid fails to notice.

Lord Of The Rings Mushrooms.

2006-07-29T04:03:00.000-07:00

Dear old Bilbo and wise Gandalf, as you can see. And a Tolkien picture was in order, I think, as I borrowed his chapter name for our blog.

Lost Without You.

2006-07-28T16:48:00.000-07:00

I found myself riveted and obsessed by the tiny details on this one, to my shame. I am afraid that I quite simply found making the photograph satisfying. This picture depresses the hell out of me, especially accompanied by the song I am listening to, and it's really too late to be up, especially as I am still drawing and do not intend to hit the hay until I've finished the picture.

Skater Mushroom, Like, Dude, Mosh.

2006-07-28T16:41:00.000-07:00

I apologise for the title. I apologise sincerely. I've had keyboard troubles and have been unable to get online. It's been traumatic and I've had a lot of carbonated caffeine.

Mushroom Cosmos.

2006-07-27T02:29:00.000-07:00

The clichéd demon picking on angel scene, but with mushrooms, naturally.

Mushroom Hat.

2006-07-27T02:27:00.000-07:00

Just a pointless picture of a mushroom in a hat, scarf, and mittens. The colour of the mushroom's head clashes majorly with her clothes, but - do I care?

Do I hell as like.

Mushroom SchoolGirl

2006-07-27T02:25:00.000-07:00

Cute, ne? Not very well shaded though, I lost faith.

How Mushrooms Use Ice Cream.

2006-07-27T01:29:00.000-07:00

I think many people will empathise with this, judging by the weather.

The Endless (mushroom style)

2006-07-27T01:26:00.000-07:00

Half Sandman, half Changlings. We are the mushroom Endless. If you were a member of 'The Endless' before, try and pick yourself out in the picture. I like this one, especially the little blue one. But then I am expressly fond of blue, or maybe I am expressly fond of fish? Or something else?

Mushroom Skatey Fun.

2006-07-27T01:25:00.000-07:00

Just like it says on the packaging. I like this, however poorly it may be shaded.

Mushroom Love.

2006-07-27T01:24:00.000-07:00

Mushrooms being affectionate. Cute, ne? Not particularly well shaded and a bit small, but mleh.

Glompage.

2006-07-27T01:21:00.000-07:00

Mushrooms embracing with fervour and enthusiasm.

Wistful Mushroom.

2006-07-27T01:19:00.000-07:00

A mushroom wistfully dreaming of the one she loves and would do anything for.

Gingerbread Mushroom.

2006-07-27T01:17:00.000-07:00

Run, run, run, as if from your doom, but you won't catch the Gingerbread 'Shroom.

Regular Garden Mushroom.

2006-07-27T01:14:00.000-07:00

Not shaded or anything - I was lazy and never properly completed this little mother. But you know, it's staying here. ><

Mushroom Power

2006-07-26T17:44:00.000-07:00

How else could I start but with this small yet powerful picture of a mushroom by the name of Frederick? He was my first computer attempt at mushrooms.

More mushrooms tomorrow. At some point I'll scan in the little mushroom cartoons I draw, I will also invite Tarrigan and Johnny to contribute to the mushroom mania we share.